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Meeting the Parents Tips and Advice

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Woman kissing santa on christmas at homeThere are a few relationship milestones in life that can make anyone nervous. For some people, it might be saying “I love you” for the first time. For others, it might be moving in together. But nothing – and I mean nothing – evokes a feeling of pure panic much like meeting the parents.

Questions like “What are you going to talk about?” “How are you going to impress them? “What are they going to think of you?” can fester in your mind in the days or weeks leading up to the meeting. But the truth is, meeting your partner’s parents is like meeting any other stranger – just with higher stakes.

“It’s better to be friendly, passive, and observant,” licensed therapist Cathryn Leff, PhD, told POPSUGAR. “The main thing is not to jump too fast. Just be relaxed and take the time to get to know them.”

Remember, if your partner feels comfortable enough to bring you with their parents, that’s a huge indicator that things are moving in a positive direction. And probably, their parents will recognize this and want you to be a part of their child’s life just as much as you are.

So to help alleviate some of your pre-meeting anxiety, here are a few things you can do to make sure the parent meeting goes as smoothly as possible. Like any great project or game, you’ll need a solid game plan. You’ve come to the right place to find it.

1. You will need to do your homework

Your partner is a great source of information on how to prepare for the first time you meet their parents. Ask your partner what he likes, what he dislikes, his interests, his dietary restrictions, what he likes in your partner’s exes, what he dislikes in your partner’s exes and anything else you think is important to know. There’s no reason to tailor your personality or change your behaviors to suit their preferences, but knowing that they like literature or care a lot about their work can be an indicator of where to go. conversation. Plus, they’ll probably appreciate you doing your homework, just like they probably did with you.

2. Consider bringing something small

It’s always a good idea to bring a gift the first time you meet your partner’s family. Whether it’s flowers, a small dessert, an appetizer or a bottle of wine, showing up with something is a great way to make a great first impression. (Just be sure to ask your partner if they have any dietary restrictions and/or drink alcohol.) Feel free to keep it small, no need to overdo it with matching Rolexes for all family members.

3. Ask them open-ended questions

Treating the first meeting like that big, scary test you have to pass can put you in a bad frame of mind. Remember that ultimately the goal is to meet the people who are important to your partner. If you go there with a genuine interest in who they are as people, you’ll find the conversation flows better. Consider asking them questions about work, their hobbies, funny stories that involve your partner, and more. Keep questions open – that is, avoid questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no”. You will find that people like to talk about themselves.

4. Be yourself

While the hope is that you will impress your partner’s parents, you should also want them to really get to know you. While it’s a good idea to be polite and maybe a little reserved, make sure you’re honest about who you are. No, that doesn’t mean you should be completely unfiltered and drop the bomb as often as you could with your partner, but don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through as you would want a manager or teacher to see it.

5. Keep the PDA to a minimum

If you and your partner are super in love, great. But going Kravis-style in front of your partner’s parents might make them feel a little uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong with holding hands, snooping, or popping a kiss here and there — but if your version of PDA seems like a natural progression to sex, it’s best to stay away. Also remember that people were raised differently and what is comfortable for you may not be comfortable for someone else. It’s always best to err on the side of caution when it comes to being delicate in front of parents. Discuss with your partner what kind of physical affection is normal for their parents to see and what is not.

6. Embrace awkward silences

At the end of the day, you meet people you’ve never met before – things are bound to get a little awkward. Remember that this is perfectly normal. While you can always fill the silence with a follow-up question to get to know them better or a polite compliment about the food or the house, also keep in mind that you don’t need to control every second of the conversation. Awkward silences may seem long at the time, but they all end eventually.

7. Don’t try too hard

There’s nothing wrong with wanting your partner’s parents to like you, but that doesn’t mean you have to go above and beyond to make sure it happens. Don’t be overly friendly or give fake compliments. Just like your relationship with your partner, this relationship should not be forced or dishonest. Most parents

8. Know that there’s a chance it won’t go well, and that’s okay

While no one wants the first date to go badly, you should probably feel comfortable with the possibility of it happening, so you can understand that it’s not the end of the world if it is. case. Although first impressions are important, they are not everything. Talk to your partner about what went wrong and plan more for next time. Remember that you are dating your partner, not their parents. And while it should be important for you to get along with their parents, the reality is that some people don’t always like their partner’s parents – and vice versa. As long as there is mutual respect and understanding, your relationship can still thrive if the first time you meet the parents doesn’t go so well. Plus, you can always limit meetings to holidays only in the future.

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